November by Azure Ray

This so captures my desolation essence


NOVEMBER

so i'm waiting for this test to end
so these lighter days can soon begin
i'll be alone but maybe more carefree
like a kite that floats so effortlessly

i was afraid to be alone
but now i'm scared that's how i like to be
all these faces, none the same
how can there be so many personalities
so many lifeless, empty hands
so many hearts in great demand
and now my sorrow seems so far away
until i'm taken by these bolts of pain

but i turn them off and tuck them away
till these rainy days that make them stay
and then i'll cry so hard to these sad songs
and the words still ring, once here, now gone
and they echo through my head every day
and i don't think they'll ever go away
just like thinking of your childhood home
but we can't go back, we're on our own, oh

but i'm about to give this one more shot
and find it in myself
i'll find it in myself

so we're speeding towards that time of year
to the day that marks that you're not here
and i think i'll want to be alone
so please understand if i don't answer the phone

i'll just sit and stare at my deep blue walls
until i can see nothing at all
only particles, some fast, some slow
all my eyes can see is all i know, oh

but i'm about to give this one more shot
and find it in myself
i'll find it in myself
do do do...